Updated: Sep 26
As promised in my last blog, I will share here simple coping techniques to help with confidence and low self-esteem. These techniques are great and can be used on the go. But first, before I delve down the rabbit hole of the hypnotherapy world, it’s good to remember these few very simple things:
Get lots of rest and, if possible, a good night’s sleep. If you are Dyslexic and tired you can experience mental blocks could find your day particularly difficult. During these times it’s a good idea to step away from whatever you are doing and take a break. Now, this might seem annoying -especially as being Dyslexic can make you slow in your tasks - but it’s still necessary to take breaks. The Pomodoro technique, which is a time management technique, works really well. Each work interval is called a Pomodoro, the Italian word for tomato.
Identify a task or tasks that you need to complete
Set a timer for 25 minutes
Work on a task with no distractions. (It may sound daft but if you’re really bad at concentrating, then sucking on a lollipop can really help focus the mind)
When the alarm sounds, take a 5-minute break
Repeat the process 3 more times
Take a longer 30-minute break and start again.
If you don’t understand something, or it doesn’t look right, don’t be afraid to ask for help or ask someone to explain something to you again. Maybe a word or equation doesn’t look right or you didn’t grasp the information coming your way. Ask, and keep asking even if it drives people nuts. Don’t shy away. Get what you need to get the job done.
Focus on those strengths you have. You may ask yourself, “do I have any?” It might not be obvious - ask friends and family to help you with this if needed. For some, it may be obvious what their strengths are. It’s better to focus on these than spend time kicking yourself for what you didn’t do so well. Always, remember to be kind to yourself. Every day people get up and do the very best they can with what tools they have available to them. You don’t have to be Dyslexic to have a bad day, sometimes it can be easy to think that what you are thinking and feeling is only just because of that ‘Dyslexia’, when the reality is everyone has the ability to have a bad day and make mistakes.
Remain Curious – Don’t ever stop learning new things about yourself and the world, just because you take longer to digest information or read and write, it doesn’t mean that you should quit whilst you’re ahead. Push forward with that promotion, challenge yourself, do something out of your comfort zone. If you sit in your comfort zone your confidence will never grow. Confidence stems from vulnerability. Dig and you will find the gold. If you ever feel too comfortable in your life, then you have become part of the walking dead society. Wake up!
Remember to look back at any achievements or progress you have made in your life, no matter how small. Be proud of these.
Having Dyslexia could bring on feelings of anxiety and stress and this can really mess up your day blocking out information that would normally come easily to you. If this persists over time, it can eat away at your confidence and self-esteem.
For me, being Dyslexic means that you are likely to be a hard worker. Many things may have presented themselves as a roadblock or challenge which you will have had to overcome.
Before we proceed any further let’s not let that go by without acknowledging that challenge and remembering how you may have overcome it. As my mum said to me recently (and I died laughing) ‘BIG UP YOURSELF NATALIE” - and I had to remind her she was using Ali G’s line. …anyway, back to where I started….
Do the words I’m not good enough resonate? Perhaps one of these resonates ‘I’m not deserving? I’m not loved? I’m not worthy? I shouldn’t be here? Under all of our bull shit lies a core belief, whether dyslexic or not. It’s good to acknowledge that no matter how together someone looks… we are all fellow strugglers.
For me, personally, the ‘I’m not good enough is my core belief’ and I don’t mind sharing that because it’s actually worked hugely in my favour. Try telling any dyslexic that they cannot do something and my god they will prove you very wrong. They will be the most driven and accomplished amongst your colleagues at work, or the most curious in the classroom. Dyslexic individuals’ strength is in their ability to look at things from a completely different perspective…. just look out for us. We are entrepreneurs, those individuals that come at things from a completely different perspective. Don’t worry, I won’t bore you rotten with a list of famous dyslexics …we all know who they are and how their Dyslexia entrepreneurial minds and inventive thinking has led them to the ends of the earth achieving countless great things.
What is Hypnotherapy and NLP
CH is an evidence-based solution-focused therapy. It enables me to purposefully use a range of techniques. ideas and tools to best support you in achieving your goals. CH believes hypnotic states are a naturally occurring state of mind. For example, when you daydream during that meeting or get lost in your thoughts whilst driving.
Hypnotherapy is not
It’s not stage hypnosis, it’s more like having a chat where trance is naturally orchestrated.
NLP stands for Neuro-linguistic programming. NLP teaches us how changing the way we perceive the world can lead us to adjust and adapt our behaviors in order to live the life we dream to transform limiting self-beliefs and move out of our comfort zone.
Since stepping into the world of Hypnotherapy I have learned that we are tuned as individuals to hunt/ look for the negative – individuals are triggered into protection far more than we are pushed into growth – it goes right back to cave man days when we were primed for survival. It’s not what happens to you in life but what you make of it. We feed what we focus on…..
I mostly love Cognitive Hypnotherapy because it has some beautiful take home techniques that I provide for my clients which helps them to deal with these feelings at any given moment. One of our most simple, yet highly effective, techniques is called “Anchoring” it’s when we teach you how to access a positive state whenever you need it. Perhaps you’re kicking yourself, or beating yourself up for making a mistake that in the grand scheme of things probably won’t be remembered by anyone other than yourself. You can replace the negative feelings that come from this with any positive state of mind, in this instance perhaps confidence, happiness, peace etc.
What is Anchoring?
Any time a person is in an associated, intense state, if at the peak of that experience, a specific stimulus is applied, then the two will be linked neurologically. The desired outcome is for any individual to be able to anchor a specific state in person, at any time. Anchoring can assist you in gaining access to positive states and linking a past positive state to the present and the future.
The best states to anchor are naturally occurring states.
I’ll use a fictional client below called Jane as a means to bringing to life the technique.
N: What state do you want more of (example – confidence)
N: Can you remember a specific time when you felt confident? Ask friends and family if you need help with this.
N: As you go back to that time…go right back and see what you saw, hear what you heard, and really feel the feelings of being totally (confident)
N: If you could point to that feeling in your body, where would you point?
J: I feel the confident feeling in my stomach, it feels good.
N: ok, great as you feel that feeling, on a scale of 0-10, where 10 is the strongest it can be, how strong does it feel?
J: It feels like an 8
N: Ok, that’s good ( proceed to step 10 ) (If the feeling is 7 or less ask yourself if you could make it stronger, so it would be a 1 more than it currently is what would you do? Repeat until the feeling is an 8 +
N: As you feel that feeling I want you to apply the pressure of your finger against your knuckle. And as you feel that pressure see the image of that specific time and notice the feeling in your body where you feel it. Apply the pressure to the knuckle for 5 seconds and remove.
N: In a few moments I want you to repeat the pressure on your knuckle and you could be curious when you feel that pressure whether you get the image of that specific time before the feeling in your body…. or whether you get the feeling before the image…apply the anchor on the knuckle and ask yourself. What comes first?
J: I get the feeling before seeing the image.
N: Great, whatever comes first, that’s good.
Natalie …. So, from today, every time you feel the pressure, feel the feeling and see the image, you can enjoy the feeling, knowing you have control, and wondering how much stronger the feeling gets every time you use this anchor.
I hope you find the above technique useful. I think it’s important to always remain curious about our feelings. In those moments of doubt, low confidence, self-esteem, etc., we need to ask ourselves what’s that all about? And then do the work.
If you would like to work with me, I can be contacted via my website.
More importantly please share this article to help others.
Natalie Diamond BAMS CogHypDip MP
Silvester, T 2010 – Cognitive Hypnotherapy “ What’s that all about and how can I use it” – Anchoring pg 213 – 217 - Troubadour Publishing Limited.
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